So this post was due to be published month or so back but never got around to it... or just didnt feel ready to publish it.
Fear of pain, fear of rejection, fear of betrayal (my biggest fear). Why I am so scared of betrayal? Simple... I am not your typical husband/bf/lover. I notice everything and I see everything. I see a smile on girls faces, that slight upturned corner of your mouth that indicates its a juicy text, I pick up on your answers and your TELLs so I know when you will lie to me. I notice the change in appearance, hair style, nail polish change. I see it all and I process it all. You cant keep it a secret from me. Which is why I fear it the most.
Sadly though what choice do I have? Not to get hurt means to be a lone, which is a pain I would rather not feel. So into the fire I step knowing that I will either get burned or find love. But fuck it, you cant win unless you try.
---- New entry ...
I think this will be my last post in this blog.. I might add one or two if there is some juicy tid bits to add, other wise my loyal fans I think I have poured enough heart to the world. Its time to zip it up and be a man.
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