Speaking from male point of view, most men, well most real men hate to loose. It drives us mad, and it drives me insane. Yet, at which point do we say to our self enough is enough, if i keep fighting then even if i do win then there wont be enough of me left to matter in the end????
Sadly there is no magic 8 ball, and no matter how many $5 palm reading you do (speaking of which, there is a palm reading lady out side my building, she cant even predict the weather, so how can she predict my future?)
Some time back, seems like fore ever, I have finally given up. I stopped fighting for my marriage. After 12 years, 6 dating and 6 married, i totally stopped fighting. The result was a total collapse. Do i feel like a complete asshole? Yup sure do. Is it getting better to deal with it? Yup. So why did I give up? Was it for love? Nope. Was it so i could go out there and fulfill my fantasy of beating Casanovas record? Nope (well maybe a bit, but most men have that fantasy)
Did I have it in my for one more fight? For one more try? Yes I did, or could have scraped up enough courage for one more. But in the end, I did it because I knew that a bit by bit there was nothing left of me. I was not the same person any more. I was not happy, I was with drawn, I lost my friends. I lost ME. So i made a call that I need to save me.
(damn it is still early for booz)
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