Ok so i have been working on this post for quite some time.. I start, i stop, i type and i delete. Just could not finish it, or start it for that matter. Its been eating at me, dying to get out, so i guess its time to finish it, or at least turn it into a multi part...
so some time back i heard "it will not be considered until you know what you want, until you know if its real or faje" what an interesting statement. I have been thinking about it for quite some time, i did what i do best... i looked at it from every angle. How can we as people figure out what we want? Hell some of us need to try 20 outfits before we pick that one, and then put on the first one we tried. We can spend weeks, months, life time figuring out what we want to do in life and then do the opposite, or wind up doing what we want.
Yet when it comes to my life, some would say i am confused and lost - thanks dad for the vote of confidence. Some say I have false feelings cause well there is nobody else... Some say i dont know what i want and need to figure it out.
To all of you all I can say is F you, with love. I know what is best for me. Took me a long time to find the guts in life to make ME happy, so nobody will tell me what I want.
I took my self to the dark place, those who had the pleasure of being around me durring that time i am sorry with all my heart. But i came out stronger, healthier, maybe even a bit smarter. I realized that i cant let anybody dicate my life for me, not any more. From now on it can only be me, on my own terms. I know that i cant let anybody else make my decisions for me. I know what I want, and I know how i want it. Painful or not, emotional or not my path is clear...
And to those who doubt me, well kiss my hairy ruski ass.
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