to know they self and to ignore thy self

Few hours ago i posted my first blog were i opened up directly about the inner me. Something that i have never done before. I got to admit, it left pretty raw on the inside. There is an old saying in Russia, granted it sounds better in Russian but it is - Dont pour more salt on my wounds. Sadly, I feel that it is what I must to do to my self in order to heal or at least start healing...

I am a 32 year old man, nobody cares about physical attributes, pretty successful career. Married - dont know for how much longer. No siblings, just bunch of cousins who are scattered over the world.

Few weeks ago, actually about 3-4 months, to be precise, my life changed. I had a fight with my wife, a pretty tame one by our standards, and the reasons for it is another blog, maybe... but while tame in volume it sent ripples far and wide. For the first time in year I admitted to my self that i am not happy. Oh i knew that i was not happy, just never bother admitting it, if you dont say then it is not real type of approach. So there I said... and now its real. And how real has it become, on the inside it was like the Berlin wall coming down. But instead of celebrations, everything that has been stored, blocked from the world, has come poring out... and since then I have been on an emotional roller coaster the likes 6-flags would only dream off.

The roller coaster that had me move out by the end of the following week.

I finally realized that i cant store anything on the inside, there is no room for bad or good. Half the time i am moody, the other half i am irritable, and for a bit i am happy. A good friend forced me to go to see help and it was one of the smartest things i done, cause its also one of the few things i ever done for my self by my self. You know what they say, to be able to admit that you have the problem is part of the solution to that problem...

is it time for a drink yet???